Mojo - I share more than a birthdate with him!!!

A face is a source for recognition but the personality behind the face is a source for remembrance. Some individuals who grace your life leave an indelible mark and make you wonder if life would be the same without them. The feeling grows stronger when the realization hits you that they are no longer around and you would never meet them this life time again. In a busy world, everyone finds it easy to hide under the excuse of having no time to stay away from a solid social interaction. Sometimes, it is just the prioritization of the individuals in their lives or at other times it is a virtual creation of a busy state of existence. I personally believe that there is no busy state and when people say they are busy or don’t have time, it just means that they do not want to connect to you at that point. I have heard from numerous people that I have all the time in the world to message because I don’t have a job but seldom do they realize that my constant messages checking on them came from a strong experience I had and which I still regret not attending to properly.

Manoj Krishnamoorthy (I hope I got his full name right coz I have never called him Manoj let alone the full name) or Mojo as we all fondly called him, was one of the best human beings I have come across, on many counts.  Formally, he was my colleague’s husband but when I got to know him better, I came to love this gem of a person for his attitude and passion towards what he loved. I have never come across another person who loved video games more than him. He could sit on a video game for 2 days or more until he finished it and would be happy as a small kid when he wins at it. I remember introducing my cousin to him once. My cousin was planning to take up animation seriously at that time. He asked my cousin why he loved animation so much. When my cousin replied that he loved video games and wanted to design himself,  Mojo called me aside and had a hearty laugh and told me to tell my cousin to take up animation course because he loved animation and not because of video games which is just a small part of that magical world. The clarity that the man possessed and the simplicity with which he conveyed it was simply worth emulating.

We have had quite a number of get-togethers at his flat. It was one of the best groups I have ever been with and these meetings brought me closer to him. There is a reason I am speaking about him today as I realized one day that we shared the same date of birth though he was 2 years elder to me. Gradually, the more I knew the guy, I felt we had a lot more in common than we knew and I developed a tremendous amount of respect and love for the guy and we used to communicate with a lot of clarity and depth. His love for alcohol was complimented by mine too at that time and he never came across as a guy who pretended to be goody-two-shoes in front of anyone. The man was as he came and everyone could take him as he was or just let him be. It was simple life philosophy in front of my eyes.

Anyway, when I met him for the last time in Hyderabad, the handsome cheerful guy of 6 feet plus was thin like a stick and could barely stand straight. I remember taking him to my room and he had great difficulty talking too. For me, it was a heart breaking sight. There were talks about some issues in his personal life among the friends circle but me being one who never gave much ear to such things, never knew the truth. For me, the man before me needed support and guidance then. I reluctantly gave him a peg or two so that he could talk to me. At that point of time, I was packing to come home for a week and my sense of time or rather the hypocritical lack of it, made me tell him that I will come back and reach out to him. Now, when I think of it, I had rather heartlessly send him away and went to my hometown in Kerala. In the hustle and bustle of home affairs, I had forgotten about him and the next thing I heard was that he had passed away.  There were quite a few variations of the story behind his death but in the end all that hit me hard was that he was no more. I could never hear him call me “Macha” with that sheepish grin on his face or the way he spoke to me about a wide variety of things under the sun. This was a guy whom I truly related to as a person and whom I considered as a brother not by blood.

Mojo…today is your birthday too. I am sorry brother that I also got caught up in the whole busy side of the world and could not really be there to support you when you probably needed it the most. I don’t remember the date of his passing away nor do I remember how many years it has been. But trust me bro when I say that I remember you each year on my birthday. You are a strong reminder to me that time is not eternal and the busy world is just a myth. In a timeline which ends someday, where we are running off to. The only thing that defines you is how you reach out to people you care about or respond to people who reach out to you. Even now, when I make the mistake of telling someone that I am busy, I remember you. If only I could have stayed back. I don’t know if it would have made a difference but atleast I would not be feeling that I deserted you too. So, my friends, when I make an effort to reach out to you and ask you how you are doing, it is not because I am jobless but because I know what it means to lose someone and live with the realization that you could have reached out to him or her when it mattered most. It is just a few seconds to type a message but sometimes it keeps a person hopeful for a lifetime too.