Smile....huh!!!

Smile....an interesting topic to write on. I am a keen observer of people. I do not necessarily analyze them, but I do note their facial expressions. Even at a very young age, I had this habit of putting myself in the place of the listener, when I was talking to someone. It was more like trying to watch myself talk. I used to analyze my body language and my facial expressions. Our face is actually like a transparent surface. Very few people can hide the actual emotions, underlying beneath the flesh and blood and deep inside your mind. You may hold back your tears, you may force a smile and you may try to look cheerful. But, I can assure you that 9 times out of 10, your eyes will betray you. But, the basic question is simple and straight! Why do you have to put on a show, when you can be just yourself and be true to your personality? I know that it would be very hard for me to smile when I am angry and in the same way, it would be very hard for me to enjoy a joke, when I am sad. Today, I saw someone smile at me. I have this very bad habit of making friends with everyone pretty soon. This particular individual impressed me fast, attitude-wise. I won't say I got attached a lot, but I definitely saw that person as a good friend. Well, change is inevitable I suppose or maybe the change was also a forced one due to many other factors. I am confused as I said before. Anyway, when I saw that person smile, I felt kinda sad because it looked more like a forced smile. A smile is believed to accentuate a person's beauty. It has to come from within. It should not be just a physical change in your face, but a mental change, with your mind swelling up with happiness and peace. Only then, will it become a smile...until, then it would be more of a smirk. I know that I cannot smile when I am hurt...I know that I cannot smile when I am angry...but, I know that I can make others smile when I am happy...because my happiness would reflect in my smile. Maybe the person who smiled at me today, did not find me worth being considering as a friend. I am hurt as usual. But, people change and world changes....I still stick to the principles that I believed. It is easier to just change your swimming style according to the flow and just drift... I guess the real challenge is to stick to the swimming style that you are master of and that you believe in and then swim against the flow to reach the destination. All those who smirk at me now, will then regret the chance lost to make a good friend. I am sure of that. Until then, smile on... but,the world has not lost all it's good!!!

I believe in myself now!!!!

Peace,
Arun

The first page of my diary!!!!

Hi there....Namaste...Good afternoon!!! Today, I decided to start writing and express myself freely through you. You are more than just a huge and heavy book for me. You are gonna be my best friend and the keeper of my conscience. From now on, noone else will know what happens inside this complicated head of mine. You are gonna be a part of me. So, as a first step, I should try not to see you as a book. A book is immediately associated wiht an inanimate and static thing. But, I want you to be dynamic and share your feelings with me too, just as I do with you. Any friendship should be a two-way system, where the traffic is not obstructed by any stop lights. Inhibitions, formalities and insecurities destroy the spirit of friendship. So, I am gonna try and see you as a living entity...as a human being. So, where do I start? I should first give you a name. A man without identity is like a balloon without air. Only when the air is filled will it acquire the ability to fly high. Similarly, a man is recognised by his name and that is what differentiates him from other fellow human beings. Yes, I do have a great name for you. When I see you as my closest friend, the best name for you would be "BUDDY". By the power vested in me, as your owner ( After all, I paid for your ownership), I christen you, Five in one notebook, "BUDDY"...B...U...D...D...Y!!! Welcome to my world of problems, confusions, tensions and whatever negative is possible for a human being. I can assure you that it is not gonna be an easy ride together. So, do hold on tight!!!!